It’s a cold, rainy, November day. I sip from a mug of tea while I try to read, but mostly I just stare out the window, deep in thought. I know that lots of people find this kind of weather depressing, but it’s never been that way for me. I love the rain, and where many find solace and companionship in having a pet by their side or the T.V. playing in the background, I find mine in nature. In birds chirping. In a hummingbird’s flight. In trees. In ocean waves. In flowers. And especially, for reasons I’ve never known, in the steady falling of rain.
When I was a little girl I loved rainy weather. I was a bookworm before I even should’ve learned to read, so for me the rain meant curling up somewhere with a good picture book, preferably with a doll or stuffed animal on my lap. As I got older, rainy days meant other things like tea, umbrellas, and crazy drivers on the freeway. It also meant getting wet against your will and having bad hair days. But even with its inconveniences, the rain never did seem to lose its magic.
I’m twenty-four now, and although I’m sick, often bedridden, and stuck in a body plagued with terrible pain, I still find comfort and wonder in a rainy day. I look out my window and see life. The earth is being watered, life is being sustained, and it is beautiful. God’s love is seen and I start to think about who He is and all that He’s promised. I remember that He is with me, I remember that I am loved, and I am thankful. So thankful.
Then the rain stops. I look out the window and see the soft golden glow of a setting sun leaking through breaks in the dark clouds. I hear a bird chirp and I can’t help but peel myself from the warm, dry confines of the house to go outside. I tiptoe barefoot across wet cement, looking up into the sky. Rain droplets still caught on trees fall on my face, and soon I’m too cold to remain outdoors. But I drink in the sights and smells of this seemingly-insignificant moment of wonder, and I hold them close as I retreat indoors.
And I remember something that I haven’t really, truly remembered in a while. I remember that life is beautiful. And not just the life “out there” that I am too sick to enjoy, but life in the very capacity that I have been given. Even life in a pain-wracked, sick body that often seems impossible to endure. It’s still a gift. But it’s also a really hard fight, and God used this rainy day to help me see that no matter how hard this fight gets, it doesn’t change who He is. It doesn’t change the beauty He put in this world for me to enjoy. It doesn’t change the beauty of His love for me or the beauty of His promises and faithfulness. It also doesn’t change the beauty of his everyday mercies and sufficient grace…But the beauty of all of these unchanging things will change me.