“I feel like I’m being poisoned…”
I don’t know how many times I’ve made that statement over the last year, but I know I said it a lot. I received many new diagnoses in 2016 and started many new treatments, but something still felt wrong. Really wrong. I felt like I was being poisoned. Like something that I was breathing was killing me slowly, a little bit at a time, piling up, one on top of each other, and breaking my body down…
Little did I know just how right I was. It turned out that we had a black mold problem and that mold makes me really, really, really sick. My body is currently on toxin overload to the extent that it’s hard for me to even move my inflamed and spasmed muscles. I’ve been bedridden for 5 days straight, and I’m pretty sure that my daily epsom salts baths are what’s keeping me out of the ER. As my Dr. said, “Cassia, you’re all tox’d out.”
When it comes to mold problems, I’ve heard of quite a few friends who had mold in their homes and were able to fix the problem quickly enough. But the mold problem we’ve been dealing with has been a nightmare.
First there was the flooding, then there was the mold destroying some of our favorite things, then there was moving into a mold-free place only to discover that the minor rain exposure that got on our belongings during the move made mold start sprouting EVERYWHERE. We assumed that the mold was only in certain places in our old house, like under the carpets and behind some of the walls…but it turned out that the mold spores had thickly coated everything that had been exposed to the air…which, in other words, means practically everything. And there they were, patiently waiting for a few innocent drops of water to activate them and turn them into vicious beasts.
Sooo…long story short, after only a few days in our new home we realized that black mold was on the majority of our belongings and we literally ended up having to throw away over half of what we own, if not more. Almost all our furniture got destroyed, as well as almost all my stationary and crafting supplies (*insert little cry here*), most of our blankets, lots of clothing, some electronics, most of our home decor stuff, and some books and old journals. Now we’re hard-core sanitizing everything that is left and praying that this whole mold thing doesn’t ever happen again.
PHEW. I’m exhausted just writing about it!
Obviously circumstances are decently miserable over here at the moment, but for some reason my spirits are still really high…and I know that “some reason” is the faithfulness of God. When I think about everything that is going on, I almost feel like I’m supposed to be freaking out or something right now…worrying about going broke…or worrying about the current critical state of my health…etc. But I’m not. And neither is Walker. We get exhausted and overwhelmed by the physical aspect of all this stress, definitely, but while outside of us things are crazy and very far from peaceful, our souls have still been at peace. God carries the brunt of our burden, and he’s carrying us. And with all that we don’t know, we do know that we can trust him amidst all the craziness…and that is wonderful.
There’s still a few more days of lots of hard work left ahead of us this week, but after that, Lord willing, we’ll be out of the woods of this awful trial and able to settle into our new home, poison-free. It can’t come soon enough! 🙂