I’ve been through a lot this year. I don’t know how else to say it. It’s been a ride and I’ve made it through so much and have come so far, but in the aftermath of it all I need to take some time away to heal.
God has done so much for me this year. Trauma and abuse, betrayals and heartbreaks, the aftermath of destructive religious environments…I’ve been going through all of it. I faced the demons of my past, walked through some of the darkest valleys I’ve ever known, cried more than I have every other year in my entire life combined, and hurt so much I feared my heart would stop under the weight of all the pain. But I survived. I made it through. And I am so thankful.
The freedom and hope and transformative power that this year’s unbelievably painful journey brought me to has been the most tremendous gift. I never want to go through anything like this ever again, but in a strange way, I am thankful for every minute of it. I suspect that, for the rest of my life, I will look back on 2022 as both the hardest year of my life that I have no idea how I made it through, and the year that I needed more than anything. The year that helped make me into the person that I will forevermore be.
But despite my gratitude, I’ve still been through the war of my life. I’ve come out of it standing and grateful for God’s love and strength and goodness, yes, but I’m still exhausted. And as much as I want to write about some of the journeys of this year, right now it’s all too fresh and I’m not ready to. Nor do I even know how.
So I’ll be taking a break from writing here for a while. Maybe it will be a month, or a year, or only a week before I feel ready to write again, I really have no idea. The important thing is that I give myself the time and the space that I need, regardless of what it is that I end up needing.
Until then, I’ve been posting regularly on my coloring blog if that’s something that interests you, and soon I’ll be starting a page for my illustrated journal pages and other hand-drawn things, as an online sketchbook of sorts for myself. I’ll link that page here when that happens, so if you’d like to keep in touch with me in that way while I’m away, maybe check back in a couple weeks because I should have it running by then.
But that’s all for now. I’m sending you love and blessings, and I’m so thankful you are here.
Until next time,
Yours Truly, ~Cassia Dee